His Heart, My Home

Thinking of family can warm our hearts with memories of holidays, vacations, and reunions. Even the everyday experiences of life are often made better by sharing them with those who have known us the best, sometimes from day one of life.

But thoughts of family can also evoke pain and heartbreak. We may associate family with broken promises, infidelity, divorce, sexual abuse, sibling rivalry, jealousy, and financial or inheritance disputes. 

Often those who’ve been deeply hurt by family members think that they can build a wall around their hearts to keep out those who wounded them.

Unfortunately, there’s a major problem with that approach. It’s this: The same wall that protects also imprisons.

Withdrawal and isolation lead to self-pity, self-loathing, loneliness, hopelessness, and depression. We were never meant to be alone. We were designed by God to find joy and fulfillment as a part of a larger unit… the family.

Family bliss… family brokenness… on either end of the spectrum of our humanness. For most of us it’s not 100% of one or the other. It’s a mixture of both.

The reality of family has always existed in the heart of God, and was beautifully and miraculously expressed in the creation of the first family. Adam and Eve were not only husband and wife. They were future parents of the human family.

And since God is the ultimate Father, we can say that He is the source for the whole idea of family.  Every time we talk about family, we’re paying tribute to the Inventor of the family.

“God said, Let US [Father, Son, and Holy Spirit] make mankind in OUR image, after OUR likeness…”
(Genesis 1:26 Amplified Bible, Classic)

“And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth…”
(Genesis 1:28 Amplified Bible, Classic)

This original “family-seed” was to grow, filling the earth with God’s family and satisfying the human heart with love and joy.

The Hebrew word for family  (mishpacha), is derived from the root word (shafach) which means “gathering many into a mass”. It suggests the idea of growth, increase, fruitfulness, and fulness.

We are partners with God in building His family. He has given us the awesome privilege and the responsibility of helping Him grow and increase His family in the earth, both biologically and spiritually.

But family growth and fruitfulness are only possible after brokenness is first repaired.

Romans 5:5 tells us “the love of God has (past tense = already) been poured out in our hearts by Holy Spirit”.

Successfully releasing God’s unconditional love into our families brings reconciliation to broken relationships, and restoration to prodigals.

A word of warning is in order: Reconciliation and restoration require a determination to walk in faith. They are not projects for the faint of heart.

I compare the repair of family relationships to the work of a blacksmith. The smith forges useful objects from broken and twisted pieces of metal.

In the same way, God repairs, reshapes and refines us to produce stronger family bonds from our broken past.

Maybe I got that analogy from watching too many episodes of “Forged In Fire”, a TV show Grace and I used to enjoy on the History Channel.

This reality TV series would probably bore most people, but it was fascinating to us as we watched the transformation process, changing scrap metal into something of real value.

These craftsmen could take almost any type of metal, from ball bearings, to railroad spikes, to vehicle suspension springs, and reshape and repurpose this material with their forges, hammers, tongs, anvils, grinders, and quench tanks, into something useful: usually knives, swords, etc.

God, the Master Craftsman, wants to use the creative, restorative power of His love,  in the forge of His Spirit, to transform the twisted, damaged, broken scrap metal pieced of our relationships into useful, beneficial, and beautiful fixtures for His kingdom.

To accomplish this, He first softens and realigns us, by heating us in the fiery forge of repentance and forgiveness. Then He reshapes us, by hammering us on the anvil of His truth.

We may sometimes feel that it is the “other edge of the sword” (our parent, spouse, child, or sibling) that is nicked, cracked, dull, deformed, and defective. But the Great Blacksmith works the entire weapon as a whole, heating and hammering the piece, actually realigning the metal molecules in the blade to produce an unbreakable bond of unity from grip to tip.

Family transformation is no easy task. The floor of the forge is stained with blood, sweat, and tears.

The twin prizes of reconciliation and restoration may cost us much.

● They may require a willing commitment to surrender all for the sake of love… our hurts, our frustrations, and our need to be right.

● They may require us to humbly ask Father-God for a soft and forgiving heart.

● They may require us to forgive those who have  offended us seventy times seven, and even  more.

● They may require us to ask forgiveness for our own faults and failures.

● They may require that we actively listen to the other person with an open mind and heart.

● They may require that we continue to reach out in unconditional love, even if we’re rejected.

● They may even require us to set up boundaries so we can move on, knowing we’ve done all we can to heal the damaged relationship.

Like I said, “No easy task”. Is it really worth it?

To answer that question, think of this. The Apostle Paul briefly pulled back the veil separating heaven and earth to give us a brief insight into how God views family. This is what he said:

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named…”
(Ephesians 3:14-15)

We see family as those relatives who are still here with us here on earth OR as loved ones who are already there in heaven.

Father-God doesn’t see them as  separate groups, as here or there, but as one, our “whole family”, our “forever-family” an eternal circle of love on earth AND in heaven.

A gospel song, entitled “Will the Circle Be Unbroken?” was written in the early 1900’s, and re-recorded in 1972 by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. We are the only ones who can answer the question it asks in its title.

Will our family circle, manifested in the Father’s love for families, and paid for with the blood of His only Son, be unbroken?

Abba-Father is certainly willing and able to heal our hurts, and to bridge the chasm of pain and brokenness that exist in our families.

The question becomes, “Will we allow Holy Spirit to work? Will we yield our hearts to Him? Will we ask God to change us, so He can change our families?

Will the circle be unbroken?”

Our answer becomes an emphatic “YES” when we diligently pray for our families in faith like this:

Father, I come to you in behalf of my family in the name of Jesus. I take my place as an intercessor, as I stand before the throne of your grace. I believe that as I speak your Word over my loved ones, it will not return to you void, but will accomplish your plan and purpose in their lives.

I thank you for the authority I have as a believer, in the name of Jesus. I bind demonic entities assigned against my family, and declare that the blinders of darkness are removed from their minds, so that the glorious light of the gospel of Christ illuminates their lives. I declare they are redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus, made pure and holy in your sight.

Your Word tells me that because I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ I will be saved, and my household as well. Therefore, I pray and confess that each member of my family will receive your Word, welcome your Spirit, experience your saving grace, and love you with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I pray and confess that each of my loved ones will accept the gift of righteousness you so freely offer, and that they would experience the effect of righteousness, which is peace, quietness and assurance forever. I believe the manifold blessings of their salvation: health, wholeness, prosperity, freedom, and victory, come to each of them this day.

I pray that they come to know the exceeding greatness of your power to us as believers, and walk in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ. I thank you that my loved ones, as believers, are sealed by Holy Spirit, who is the guarantor of our inheritance, until the day of our final redemption.

In Jesus’ name, Amen!